My friend Sharon informed me that I am doing a slack job on blogging and that I am not providing her with entertaining stories to pass the time while she is bored at work. My boner. Unfortunately, I don't have any entertaining stories. My life is rather dull and uninteresting. Even though I don't sit behind a desk for eight hours a day, or any hours for that matter, doesn't mean that I have a plethora of fun stuff going on (though I got my SAT word in for the day). Actually, my week is pretty routine. I have to prepare to teach class which means actually reading the textbook so I know, or at least appear to know what I am talking about. By the way, this is the first time I have EVER read a textbook cover to cover. Plus it is that time of the semester where all of my projects and papers are due for grad work. Hence, I have no stories for you.
Sadly, I used to. Those were the days of Crazy Bitch Monster (CBM). I'm sure that everyone at one time or another has had "that roomate", but this chick was an adventure everyday and a quick prescription for high blood pressure medicine. My stories then were ridiculous and unbelievable, but so crazy that even I couldn't make them up. From stealing soft drinks, sabotaging ice packs, being involved in the mob, never being able to do my laundry, finding fully cooked meals forgotten about in the kitchen, calling the police, and the list goes on and on and on and on. No joke, as a professional, I seriously considered having her involuntarily committed. I'm pretty sure I could have pulled it off. Our parting was not bitter sweet, it was just bitter and CBM continued to stalk my cell phone for weeks after I moved out. So Sharon, or anyone for that matter, in light of my lack of entertaining stories, pick your favorite CBM story and I'll be sure to remind you of why that was the first thing you asked me about every morning for almost two years.